PROVE IT

PROVE IT-

I want to open with a simple question to really consider.
How many of us that walk through life feeling like we need to prove ourselves?
Prove you're a good student, mom, dad, son, daughter, sister, brother, boss, employee. Prove you have worth in your job, in your family, at the gym, at school, at church.
Do you have anxiety when you think about these kinds of social settings? Why? Do you feel like you don't fit in? People won't accept you for you? The effort seems too overwhelming so you avoid it or hide in the corner?

I'll be the first to raise both my hands. We live in a culture that is demanding us to PROVE we have worth. The definition of worth in the world's eyes is very very different from your Maker's eyes. How many likes did you get? We want to "go viral", be found for our talent, be recognized for the person we create online (even though that is far removed from the person we are in reality.)

I am definitely not dreaming of going viral and being seen by the thousands, but I for sure want the ones in my sphere of influence to be impressed by how put together my life looks. I am tired of it. I am tired of feeling like I need to prove myself to people. It is not anyone who puts this pressure on except myself.  But God is gently teaching me "you have nothing to prove, Jess."
I have heard this gentle voice guiding me with this thought for the last 4 months everyday.

For those of you that know me well, you know that I can be pretty argumentative. I am the youngest in my family, and about a decade younger than my siblings.  I didn't grow up around other kids my age, it was mostly adults with very strong opinions. I wanted to fit in and be apart, which formed in me this passionate desire to prove I was relevant; to prove I had something to offer.  As I grew and made friends I would get in pretty heated arguments about all kinds of things, and looking back I know I have pushed people away because of it. (If you are one of those people, sorry about that. God is teaching me how to love, but it's taken a long time.)  

This is a glimpse into my reason behind the "prove it" mentality, and I am sure you have your own reasons. I would challenge you to consider if these motives exist within your spirit and ask how they formed.

Why, in God's reality, we have nothing to prove...

If you have never read or heard of the story in Hosea, I highly recommend it! It speaks to the depths of my soul, and causes me to weep from a place of gratitude. It displays God's deep love for his people, for me, and his relentless pursuit.

Hos 1:23, "I will show my love to the one I called 'Not my loved one.' I will say to those called 'Not my people,' 'You are my people'; and they will say, 'You are my God.' "

If you can, read that whole chapter because it's powerful, and this is only the last verse of the chapter.

Unless you are of the Jewish bloodline, this verse is talking to you, who are outside of God's originally chosen people. I am a Gentile and an outsider according to God's law.  Jesus' blood that flowed out of him removing my sin and guilt forever, allowed me to be adopted into God's family. The weight of this event is so heavy mere words fall short to fully explain it. I was an orphan without a family... I had everything to prove. It's like being the kid picked last for kickball 'cause nobody wants you. But in Christ, before the world was even created, God knew the plan, God knew I had nothing and chose to give me EVERYTHING! As I write this tears flow down... and I pray you, child, who reads this understand the weight of our adoption. It is the most beautiful and wonderful hope we possess.

For today, this truth propels me to love, to forgive, to bring hope to a world of orphans.

As we enter into this week of remembering Jesus' journey to the cross, through the depths of hell, and rising in victory over the power of sin, I pray we can take a moment to thank him for holding our hand and leading us out of our lonely orphanage to a seat at his table. And He says "sit and feast on this food, for you are one of us now, you belong to my family, you have nothing to prove. YOU BELONG!"

Life and life abundant

What does an abundant full life look to you? When you think about someone you know who has an overflow of life springing up from their soul, what image comes to mind? And what sets these people apart from the rest? Do you have ample amounts of life stored up and overflowing out of you? Maybe some days, but not all day? What are you thinking about when you have a day that is full of life, and vise versa when you have a day lacking life?

These are all questions I have asked myself over the years, and just recently have been asking God.  His faithfulness in answering, always surprises me, but it really shouldn't because he promises to answer when I call on the name of The Lord.

Jesus said in John 10:10 " The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows)." (AMP)

To understand what an abundant life means I think it's important to look at the opposite. Here are some words that describe the opposite of abundance.

Lack. Deficiency. Deficit. Inadequate. Insufficient. Absence. Poverty. Dry. Undersupply.

This verse says the thief comes to steal our life.  I don't think this necessarily means to physically kill all of us (which he would probably do if he could), but more realistically the thief comes by the ways of our emotions causing depression, anxiety, insecurities, and all other emotions that are not life giving.

So as believers in Christ, why do we (myself included in this) live in a way that is opposite of what Jesus is offering?

I believe when we are living in this opposite way of the abundant life we have put ourselves under condemnation instead of under the freedom that comes from Jesus. I was talking to an amazing woman of God that is in my life right now, and as she was talking God opened my eyes to three sources condemnation can originate.

Condemnation from God. Condemnation from others. Condemnation of self.

Romans 8:1 THEREFORE, (there is) now NO condemnation (no adjudging of wrong) for those who are in Christ Jesus.

This verse took on a whole new meaning for me. Jesus is not condemning us so why live under the condemnation of man or self. I personally live under it by fear of falling and fear of rejection. These fears put me directly under condemnation from others. But there is now NO condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, and I am in Christ Jesus. And I have been set free from this condemnation, it was replaced by life and life abundant. If God is for me who can be against me.

It is also too easy to condemn ourselves with insecurities and comparison of others (especially as women oh boy isn't that the truth ladies!). We tell ourselves to try harder, we look at the other's strengths and say we need to be more like that, we tear ourselves apart physically and yearn to be different. We end up condemning ourselves the most BUT there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Fight back the lies with truth in God's word. If God is for me who can be against me. He is NOT condemning us He is loving us perfectly and completely. He is saying we were accepted exactly the way we are. We don't need to change a thing because we don't have the power to change us. Only Jesus has the power to change us.

The power of God's love can change us, but we have to accept His love for what it is- a free gift. Have you ever thought "yeah, I know God loves me, but He loves everybody. So why is it so special?" Maybe I'm the only one, but I have often wondered why does He love me so much? What is it about me that He is so crazy about?  A love that is so crazy He actually wants me to be with him now and forever... So I started asking him "What do you like about me", "Why do you love me so much?" Honestly, it took a few days and a quieted heart and a mind about to drift off to sleep to hear His response...

 "Because you're mine."... Because I am HIS!

It was such a simple answer, but overwhelming peace entered my heart for that answer. He doesn't love based on my good qualities and my awesome skills because there is always the opposite side of the awesomeness that we don't want anyone to see. But God sees it, and He is steady, He is consistent with His love. WHY? Because it is not based around us and how cool we are... We belong to Him, I belong to Him, you belong to Him. I don't know about you, but I find a deep rest in knowing why He loves me. There is no work left to be done because the work Jesus did was enough. I am His daughter now and forever. "For (as far as this world is concerned) you have died, and your (new, real) life is hidden with Christ in God." Col 3:3 (AMP)

Hidden in Christ... Hidden in Christ. Our old lives and old selves are crucified and died when Christ died. We have been raised up with a new life that is found in Jesus alone. No other thing on this earth will ever give you the abundant life you are looking for other than Jesus. And I pray you all find an understanding of His crazy deep love for you on a personal level. It is in Him that we have life and life abundantly. He has cancelled our debt and set us free from condemnation so let's choose to relax and enjoy this amazing life He has invited us to.

When I play with my daughter or watch her sleep, I am mesmerized at the depth of my emotions I feel for her. The word love doesn't even begin to describe how I see her. My heart literally aches with joy it is somewhat painful. I have never known a love like this. She is half of me. My DNA has made up half of her DNA. She is mine. And I am the only person that will ever be her mom. Gosh, writing this out is making me emotional. I love her because she is mine. He loves me because I am His. Do you see it? Do you feel that revelation? It's such a big deal because it's all about him wanting to bring us to the understanding of how he loves us. He has poured out his love through Jesus so we don't need to pray and ask him to pour himself out, and we don't need to ask to be filled because he has already filled us with all he has, just recognize you are filled to the brim. The thief is trying to convince us we need more, he is trying to steal the life that we already possess. Don't let him do that. Stand firm on the promises of Jesus and His finished work on the cross.

Walk in this new abundant life overflowing and sufficient for daily living. This is an image of grace.

I love you all!

truth and grace

Some people in my life I am close to have been encouraging me to write my thoughts down in blog form for a few years now. The idea of putting my personal thoughts and words from God onto the internet seemed so scary and vulnerable. God has been pressing this on my heart more over the last few weeks, and I have considered the cost. The cost of being vulnerable allows for pain, criticism, and rejection.  I have considered the cost and realized it's worth it. If I can encourage one person by the words I write here... it is worth it.   A friend of mine says we should be willing to "whisper revelations", meaning we share the big revelations God has placed on our hearts while having coffee with one person, and not wait until we have a big audience to share it. I want to be faithful with the small. So please be gentle with my heart, and these revelations God teaches me.

This will be a place of honest sharing, encouragement, and realization that we all have issues in our lives that we wish weren't there, but in Christ we are okay.


This morning I was considering grace and truth. I have heard in the past grace does not exist without truth and vice versa. John 1 says Jesus came full of grace and truth, and also grace and truth come to us through Jesus Christ. But I asked God what is the significance of marrying grace and truth together?  Why do they have to go together? He replied so quickly, because grace is not effective in a life unless complete truth is exposed. An honest heart is able to receive grace because the darkness is exposed and His light has access to cover it. If the truth does not exist our flesh secrets remains hidden and concealed; seperated from His grace. If we think we can figure out our lives alone or are too ashamed to expose our weakness before him it cuts of grace's ability to change our soul.  If we choose vulnerability before God and man I believe it opens up doors for us to understand more of His grace.

Jesus is the only one who is FULL of grace and truth. He knows every single dark secret, good deed, dreams and hopes for the future, past shames, and present emotions about us, he listens when we sing, when we cry, and when we laugh. He knows how fragile we are even when we think we are unbreakable. Despite knowing us to the core, knowing the whole truth about who we are, He pours out an unlimited amount of grace to release us from freshly-living and set us free to live as our true nature --- forgiven, champions over our lives, and filled with His Spirit.

He sets this example for us to live in community the same way. He is daring us to go deeper with one another as we go deeper with Him. It is always scary and hard to open our hearts up to other humans. They are just as imperfect as us, and have the capability to cause great pain. On the other hand, we all have the capability to extend the grace and love we have received from God to the ones He has placed in our lives. I believe the reward for vunerability is immeasurable. Through our truth with eachother we open the door of grace, through our truth with eachother we build genuine relationships that will last, through an honest heart we can experience God's grace together. Beauty is revealed through exposing our ugliness. Let our imperfections allow for Jesus' perfect sacrafice to be magnified. The cost of being vunerable is worth it.

From my heart:

Most days, if I really examine my thoughts, I feel like I'm failing. Failing as a mother, wife, daughter, child of God, Christian, and friend.  "I could have done more", "I wasted too much time on social media or TV", "I didn't play with my baby enough", the list and thoughts go on and on. The demands the world puts on us are infinite in number and continue daily. I know I am not alone in feeling this way. The coined term "Mother's guilt" exsists for a reason. These thoughts can be so overwhelming at times they eventually lead to more thoughts of "why even try", "what's the point", "I can't get my own life together so am I suppose to help other people?". I want to expose the lies that I choose to believe along with most mom's out there. God never said our lives have to look a certain way before we can be effective and used by him.  My life is NOW. It does not start in the future or when I solve the problems of the past. It is right now - TODAY! Too many times I catch myself saying "well when ____, then _____." "When our debt is paid off, then we can give more... "When I lose 10 lbs, then I'll feel prettier" ... "when my marriage is better, then I will be happier." These lies are not getting us anywhere and they actually render us ineffective to receive God's grace (which is exactly what the enemy of our soul wants).

This is my life, and I am taking it back. How I choose to live is souly my responsibility and because of God's grace He lifts my head up, He gives me joy, He supplies hope for the future, food on the table, clothes on my back, and a roof over my head. He is the source and I have never been in want for any necessity.

"I lift my eyes unto the hills
where does my help come from
my help comes from The Lord,
the Maker of heaven and earth."

I am extremely humbled by the Maker of heaven and earth stooping down to peer into my life and offer help! He cares so much about the big and small things in our lives that he desires us to run to him first so he can offer help.  What an amazing God! The Father poured out his love and grace into our lives the day Jesus died. He continues to pour himself out to us daily; now we have complete access to His Kingdom because we are called sons and daughters; conqueorors and victors in this life and the next.

Grace has a first name; Jesus

Jesus now makes his dwelling place in the ones that call on his name and trust him with their lives.  These are the ones who are the image of grace to the world. I am an image of grace to the world.

Jesus, King Jesus, I am desperate for you!  I need you like the flowers need the honey bee. You pollinate me and I bloom. You make me into something beautiful. I was closed up to the world, but you brought nourishment to my soul. You brought me just what I needed. It caused my heart to open; my true colors to radiate, and a sweet aroma to rise up from the earth. You make me radiant among the other flowers. You make me beautiful. You make me new. It's all for your glory Jesus, all for your glory. Let my colors and aroma be a gift of praise to you. I love you!